Missives from the Hinterlands

I wish this surprised me, but it doesn't: http://mightyspork.blogspot.com/2004/08/secret-service-shuts-down-michael.html

How can the so-called "party of freedom" be so quick to trample on fundamental rights?

Well, they've almost got McCain's meds right. But they couldn't quite hide the awkwardness of McCain's paean to the man who once called him a coward and accused him of fathering a "black baby."

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it isn't meds. Maybe they're holding his family hostage in Phoenix. The adobe walls surrounding those Scottsdale homes could hide anything.

Whatever the case, McCain's endorsement was almost as painful to watch as it must have been to deliver.

They're worried, my friends, so they're hammering the only message they have left: be afraid, America, be very afraid. Let's hope it's not enough.

Britney Spears, Antichrist

"Through her immature antics, Spears has probably done more to undermine sexual morality than all the misguided legislation introduced in the United States over the last decade," the Illinois Family Institute wrote in an e-mail to members. "It would be the height of hypocrisy for a party that claims to represent wholesome values to celebrate her."

http://msnbc.msn.com/id/5820977/

Who is running the Illinois Republican establishment? First, they pick Keyes to run for senate. Now, one of their front groups is seeking to ban Britney Spears from the convention and blames her for singlehandedly undermining the moral fiber of this country. Those people are priceless.

Of course, despite their insanity, the Illinoians (Illinites?) have a point. The republicans really don't need any more Southern white trash in NYC. They've already got the Marshall Tucker Band, Skynard and Tom Delay.

http://www.wonkette.com/archives/grand-old-party-schedule-020008.php

Ben Ginsburg, a lawyer for BC during the 2000 election, provided legal advice to the SBVT jackasses. Bush's long-time PR company advises the SBVT. A BC '04 adviser just quit the campaign because he belonged to the SBVT. And the media still refers to those political goons as "a group independent of the Bush/Cheney campaign?" Bullshit.

Just because no one has found the memo from the campaign entitled "How We are Connected to the SBVT" doesn't mean there's no evidence of a connection. There is. Tons of it. And the fact that the media refuses to connect the dots is simply another example of how the Right has bitch slapped the media into submission.

Mayor Bloomberg, bless his heart, is completely clueless. In an effort to encourage peaceful political protests at the RNC, he is offering a "peaceful protester discount" at fine eateries throughout NYC: http://www.nytimes.com/2004/08/18/nyregion/18buttons.html?hp. Apparently, you can pick up your "I'm a peaceful protester" button at a participating retailer, and then eat all the half-price cheese sticks and chicken wings you can handle. "No one likes to protest on an empty stomach," says a mayoral aid.

Reality and satire have been neck in neck for some time now, but, with the onset of the RNC, I think reality may be pulling ahead. As support for that proposition, I offer the fact that the peaceful protester buttons are available at both Applebees and the Sex Museum. Strange bedfellows, indeed.

It's starting. According to several news sources, Muhammad Naeem Noor Khan, the computer expert recently "captured" by Pakistan was actually a mole working for Pakistan against Al-Qaida. But, the administration, needing a political boost after the Democratic Convention, had him and "thousands" of computer discs hauled in. Fortunately for GW & Co. the interrogation of Nor Kahn and the deciphering of all those discs will take "several months." Now they've got a face for all the terror information and alerts that will be coming fast and furious through the fall: "You see, we've got to go to Red Alert. Noor Kahn and his discs just spilled the beans on another plot. Turns out, the terrorists were looking to target various Chucky Cheeses and daycare centers in Ohio and Arizona. Luckily for the voters in those key swing states and, most importantly, their adorable little ones, George Bush caught the bad men just in time."

Anyone who thinks the "October Surprise" will be Osama being dragged out of a spider hole is fooling himself. These guys are pros. They know that even the American People aren't that naive. Nope, they'll just ratchet up the anxiety level bit by bit until we're all cowering under our beds at Halloween and crying for daddy Bush to save us from the bogey man. It's masterful, really, and if the future of my country didn't hang in the balance, I'd have to applaud.

By the way, when did the IT guy for Al-Qaida become a major player. If you captured and interrogated the IT guys in my office, you'd think our business was porn and Doom 3. (Which would actually be a far more profitable "synergy" than anything our consultants have come up with so far.)

Why do we let them get away with it? Is there no shame left in this country? The latest attack on John Kerry's Vietnam service is not just "politics." It's not simply "playing tough." It's a LIE, ladies and gentlemen, a straight-out lie. Everyone knows that, but no one is saying anything. Instead the media couch it in their usual terms of "Republicans contend Kerry doesn't deserve medals," and "Democrats see it differently." No, no, no. This is not a simple difference of opinion. The Republicans are lying to the American people, just like they have lied about every important issue of the past 4 years.

That's it. If Rove wants to play it that way, I say the Dems run an ad showing GW barreling through the West Texas wasteland on his way to "report to duty" with a bottle of JD in one hand, a coke straw in the other and a passed-out secretary in the back seat. I don't give a shit if Kerry got his purple heart for a shaving cut. He was in the line of fire damn near every day in Vietnam. Just by getting up and putting on his boots in the morning he showed more courage than GW has ever shown. Period.

This morning the head of the NRC announced that the agency would no longer be making its findings on nuclear (that's "noo-klee-err" for our boy, GW) power plant "security" public. No web-site postings, no public press-conferences and no FOIA requests granted. It's just too dangerous, she said, for such information to be out there accessible to any Tom, Dick or Muhammad.

Fine, I can deal with that, if by "security" she means the actual physical security. You know, gates, guards, vicious dogs that only respond to German commands, that kind of thing. However, anyone want to bet that "security" will be read very broadly to include much more, like, say, safety records and employee and citizen health issues?

Anyone?

Yeah, I didn't think so.

With the Pakistanis' fortunate capture of an Al-Qaida computer expert exactly when requested and today's statement that the Orange Alert in D.C. and N.Y.C. might have been based on 3-years old information, can there be any question that the WOT is being waged with an eye towards political gain?

I think this recent "heightened alert" was a dry run for the election. G.W. & Co. don't have the cojones to outright cancel the election. However, if the people and media take the revelations of this week lying down, don't be surprised to see another Orange Alert in California and/or NYC (two key D strongholds) on or near election day, with a press release at 5:00 pm on Friday, November 5, stating that, although the clamp down was necessary, the information giving rise to it might have been a bit "outdated."

Yeah, I know, tinfoil-hat kind of stuff. But, as every justification this administration has offered for its actions gets debunked, I'm reminded of Holmes' old saying: you eliminate all the possible explanations and what's left over, no matter how unlikely, must be the answer.

So, Bush wants to attack Kerry as having had an "undistinguished" career? I don't even know where to begin with that one. Is the electorate collectively dense enough to accept such words about a veteran US Senator from a man who's only pre-presidential electoral experience was as a one-term, constitutionally-shackled governor?

I want to say no, but, unfortunately, I think the answer is, "Uh, dude, of course. Like duuuh!"

Why, dear god, why do you inflict us so?