Missives from the Hinterlands

It's starting. According to several news sources, Muhammad Naeem Noor Khan, the computer expert recently "captured" by Pakistan was actually a mole working for Pakistan against Al-Qaida. But, the administration, needing a political boost after the Democratic Convention, had him and "thousands" of computer discs hauled in. Fortunately for GW & Co. the interrogation of Nor Kahn and the deciphering of all those discs will take "several months." Now they've got a face for all the terror information and alerts that will be coming fast and furious through the fall: "You see, we've got to go to Red Alert. Noor Kahn and his discs just spilled the beans on another plot. Turns out, the terrorists were looking to target various Chucky Cheeses and daycare centers in Ohio and Arizona. Luckily for the voters in those key swing states and, most importantly, their adorable little ones, George Bush caught the bad men just in time."

Anyone who thinks the "October Surprise" will be Osama being dragged out of a spider hole is fooling himself. These guys are pros. They know that even the American People aren't that naive. Nope, they'll just ratchet up the anxiety level bit by bit until we're all cowering under our beds at Halloween and crying for daddy Bush to save us from the bogey man. It's masterful, really, and if the future of my country didn't hang in the balance, I'd have to applaud.

By the way, when did the IT guy for Al-Qaida become a major player. If you captured and interrogated the IT guys in my office, you'd think our business was porn and Doom 3. (Which would actually be a far more profitable "synergy" than anything our consultants have come up with so far.)